Friday, June 12, 2009

Do You Get My Point?

Just five years ago, I saw Dr. Wayne Dyer on a TV show where he was delivering a message of love, spirituality, and other personal-growth nuggets. I watched for about 10 minutes before I decided that this guy was just too "wimpy" for me to pay attention to. Boy, have I done a one-eighty!
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What I didn't understand at the time was that my ego was so 'healthy' that I just wasn't prepared to accept a message about my higher, spiritual self being the real 'ME', the Universal ME, as it were.

In his book "The Power of Intention", Dr. Dyer devotes quite a bit of ink to talking about the Ego. I am not really referring to the Freudian definition of ego (at least not in the strict definition) but rather to an all-encompassing idea we develop about ourselves based on our experiences. Since our experiences are shaped by our family, friends, and external circumstances, the ego (to me) represents our interpretation of those experiences: our fears, doubts, worries, should-would-ought-to-be thoughts, and (of course) our best 'intentions.'

Dr Dyer's assertion is that our ego-mind is really so small compared to our true, spiritual mind, that we tend to live in a world of small-minded experiences. That would explain our fascination with "making a point."

We are so used to 'making a point', be it by words or actions, that we rarely stop to consider how all this point-making affects our lives. We cloak our points in logic, research, practice-runs for arguing with someone, passive-aggression, and a host of other devices. Our entrenchment in the "I'm right, and you....well..." zone is so deep that we limit our human experience to what our ego allows. Hey, I know this because I've lived it.

So, I learned (and I'm still learning) to recognize the pervasive nature of our ego. After all, it just isn't that easy to "kill" that which we know as "being our Self." Ego is a well trained martial artist. Just when you think you've knocked the wind out of "him," he kicks you in the head - and down you go. And as you lay on the canvass, dizzy from the kick, you find yourself in an argument, or in a state of feeling like you're under attack, or just plain disbelief!

So, thankfully, that "wimpy" message from Dr Dyer came back to kick me in the head. And after I got up, I learned that if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at... well, they change!

Do you get MY point?

Monday, June 8, 2009

True Decisions are Absolute When Making a New 'YOU'

This thing about making a decision is so absolute, and so important, that if you qualify it then you really have not made a decision. What do I mean? Well, let’s say you “have made a decision” to lose weight, so today you will pig out and get started on your weight loss regimen tomorrow. Are you being honest with yourself? Do you really mean it? I submit you are not. Yet we all have been through similar experiences; in fact we even joke about it - like when we “make” New Year’s resolutions.
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Why am I harping on this point so much? Because it’s the first step on the journey to a new YOU. No first step, no journey. And yes, I know you probably already know and understand this. Yet, our lives don’t necessarily change because we know what to do; they change because we do what we know. I know people who have spent years complaining about finding someone who can just listen to and understand them. They share their misery with just about anyone who pays them some attention. Do you know anyone like that?

What if, though, all that time and energy they spent complaining were instead spent following up on decisions they could have made to improve their lives? I’m not saying we should keep everything “bottled up”, but I am saying that we should at least, AT LEAST, be aware that the more we talk about our misery (even if it feels good to unload for a few minutes) the more misery we invite into our lives.

The fact is that millions of people around the world complain and gripe about their lives. The say they want something better. Some of them even manage to sound convincing when they tell their friends and loved ones that they’re going to do something to change their lives. Yet, relatively few of them actually follow through, that is, few of them actually make the decision to change. Please understand, making a decision is an absolute thing. There is no wavering, or being on the fence. Truly making a decision to change means just that: you absolutely intend to (and take action) to change. Are you a real decision-maker?