Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Simplest Question

Complications. We LOVE them! I'm wrong, you say?
Consider for a moment just how hectic our lives are. Take note of the plethora of emotions we experience on any given day. Did you know that we have upwards of 50,000 thoughts per day? Most of that 'thinking' takes place outside our awareness. Your subconscious mind, much like a tape player on an endless loop, is always emitting thought waves. The majority of those thoughts are repetitive.
So, if those thoughts are not beneficial to your existence, they are probably complicating your life. In other words, if you keep thinking what you've been thinking, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

What many people 'have been getting' usually involves a fair amount of quiet desperation, lack of fulfillment, a sense of going nowhere or going where they don't want to go, and frequent encounters with that pesky question: is this as good as it gets? Sounds bleak, doesn't it?

There is, however, one simple little question that can turn things around for you if your life doesn't quite reflect your innermost desires. The question is "WHAT do I really want?"

On the surface, this question might look like the simplest question to answer. Try this, though: ask your friends and relatives to answer the question "what do you want, what do you really want?", and then sit back and watch them fumble their way to an answer.

Some will ask for clarification like "what do you mean?" Tell them you mean exactly what you just asked them: what is it that they want? You may take pity on them and add a couple of words like "out of life" or "in your life." Then sit back and watch.

Many will tell you exactly what they don't want. Most will not be able to just answer the question directly and self-assuredly. Why?

Plainly, most people just have not asked themselves that question and gotten a satisfactory answer. It's easier for most to tell you what they don't want than to tell you (and themselves) what they really do want.

If you do answer the question to yourself, I suggest you write it down. If the answer is only present in your mind, it's sharing space with all kinds of emotions and memories that may render the answer useless. If you read the answer on a piece of paper everyday, your subconscious will accept the answer, and it will become part of your mental programming.

So now that you know this, what do you want... to do about it? Photobucket



Friday, June 12, 2009

Do You Get My Point?

Just five years ago, I saw Dr. Wayne Dyer on a TV show where he was delivering a message of love, spirituality, and other personal-growth nuggets. I watched for about 10 minutes before I decided that this guy was just too "wimpy" for me to pay attention to. Boy, have I done a one-eighty!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What I didn't understand at the time was that my ego was so 'healthy' that I just wasn't prepared to accept a message about my higher, spiritual self being the real 'ME', the Universal ME, as it were.

In his book "The Power of Intention", Dr. Dyer devotes quite a bit of ink to talking about the Ego. I am not really referring to the Freudian definition of ego (at least not in the strict definition) but rather to an all-encompassing idea we develop about ourselves based on our experiences. Since our experiences are shaped by our family, friends, and external circumstances, the ego (to me) represents our interpretation of those experiences: our fears, doubts, worries, should-would-ought-to-be thoughts, and (of course) our best 'intentions.'

Dr Dyer's assertion is that our ego-mind is really so small compared to our true, spiritual mind, that we tend to live in a world of small-minded experiences. That would explain our fascination with "making a point."

We are so used to 'making a point', be it by words or actions, that we rarely stop to consider how all this point-making affects our lives. We cloak our points in logic, research, practice-runs for arguing with someone, passive-aggression, and a host of other devices. Our entrenchment in the "I'm right, and you....well..." zone is so deep that we limit our human experience to what our ego allows. Hey, I know this because I've lived it.

So, I learned (and I'm still learning) to recognize the pervasive nature of our ego. After all, it just isn't that easy to "kill" that which we know as "being our Self." Ego is a well trained martial artist. Just when you think you've knocked the wind out of "him," he kicks you in the head - and down you go. And as you lay on the canvass, dizzy from the kick, you find yourself in an argument, or in a state of feeling like you're under attack, or just plain disbelief!

So, thankfully, that "wimpy" message from Dr Dyer came back to kick me in the head. And after I got up, I learned that if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at... well, they change!

Do you get MY point?

Monday, June 8, 2009

True Decisions are Absolute When Making a New 'YOU'

This thing about making a decision is so absolute, and so important, that if you qualify it then you really have not made a decision. What do I mean? Well, let’s say you “have made a decision” to lose weight, so today you will pig out and get started on your weight loss regimen tomorrow. Are you being honest with yourself? Do you really mean it? I submit you are not. Yet we all have been through similar experiences; in fact we even joke about it - like when we “make” New Year’s resolutions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why am I harping on this point so much? Because it’s the first step on the journey to a new YOU. No first step, no journey. And yes, I know you probably already know and understand this. Yet, our lives don’t necessarily change because we know what to do; they change because we do what we know. I know people who have spent years complaining about finding someone who can just listen to and understand them. They share their misery with just about anyone who pays them some attention. Do you know anyone like that?

What if, though, all that time and energy they spent complaining were instead spent following up on decisions they could have made to improve their lives? I’m not saying we should keep everything “bottled up”, but I am saying that we should at least, AT LEAST, be aware that the more we talk about our misery (even if it feels good to unload for a few minutes) the more misery we invite into our lives.

The fact is that millions of people around the world complain and gripe about their lives. The say they want something better. Some of them even manage to sound convincing when they tell their friends and loved ones that they’re going to do something to change their lives. Yet, relatively few of them actually follow through, that is, few of them actually make the decision to change. Please understand, making a decision is an absolute thing. There is no wavering, or being on the fence. Truly making a decision to change means just that: you absolutely intend to (and take action) to change. Are you a real decision-maker?